by John Cook
This year, thanks to our Operations Manager (the guy who enters your orders into the system) we have been able to have three interns. Interns are people that work for no money, does all the dirty work and act as gophers. They used to be referred to as "slaves" until the title was changed to "indentured servants" and then to interns.
Well, after making the interns work like dogs for months, Andrew, our fearless leader decided that it would be good to reward the interns with a trip to see the Rochester Rhinos soccer team. (It was the only way Andrew saw that he can go on the company's dollar.) Now of course, the rest of the staff mooched tickets from Andrew (we did it when he took him to the bar after work, he didn't know what hit him.) So on the fateful day, the entire staff and 3 interns when to the soccer game.
Now I should tell you about Jason. Jason is very cool. Jason is a big soccer fan. Jason is a little nuts. He's a marketing manager, what do you expect? Jason goes to all of the Rhinos game and acts as a non paid cheerleader. He also wears a fool's cap at the game. It is not hard to find Jason.
So after we are all settled in our seats, Jason went over to the back of field and joined a group of men without shirts with a letter on each chest spelling R-h-i-n-o-s. Yes they are the relatives of the guys you see at football games in the snow without shirts or coats on. You would think that this group would die off, but they are a tough breed. Not bright but tough.
After a while Jason came over to our group and grabbed most of the group to go with him. Myself included. He took us to the other end of the field. He explained that we will be advancing the tradition of running around the field to start a wave. Now most of our group as fit and trim. Young, strong and in excellent shape. Then there is me. The term fat, forty and balding is the kindest that I am referred to as.
Well, I ran with the rest of the staff and interns. I made it for the first run. But then Jason had us run it again! As I reached the end of the 2nd run, I fall to the ground and rolled over the finish line. (Several people claimed that I was moving faster rolling on the ground than running.)
Now when I recovered my breath (in about 15 minutes with the aid of an oxygen mask) we returned to our seats. What do we find but a bunch of kids that sneaked in and took our seats. Now we were angry and willing to fight for our seats (the oldest one was 13 but she looked tough) but once they realized we were from Ambrosia, two of them fell to their knees and cried "We are not worthy! We are not worthy!". They carried Andrew to his seat, treated Matt and Jason like they were gods. But once they learned I was the accountant, my free drink was dumped on my lap and was bouncing down the stairs ! NO ONE EVER APPRECIATES THE ACCOUNTANTS!!!!
Anyway, after the kids paid for food for the staff, (They did not pay for a thing!! They mugged me!!!!) they moved on to another section to steal seats. But only after Andrew promised to send them copies of the new Ambrosia CD's and the new Ambrosia T-shirts. Who said that bribery is a lost art?
Any way, the Rochester Rhinos won 4 to 1. Their record currently is 23-3. Jason has promised to burn his fool's cap if they win the title. (GO RHINOS!!!!) The interns returned to school and the rest of us returned to work. Nothing like spending around $100.00 to get three guys to work all summer!
We are now looking for suckers ...I mean volunteers to act as interns for us. Whatever happens, you can be sure that it will not be dull!!!
See you next time!!!