The Defendant
Prison life had not been treating Hector well (as you may remember from last issue, Hector had been denied bail). While awaiting his fate with the justice system Hector has just been trying to blend in with the prison crowd. Playing the harmonica, gambling for cigarettes, beating Jeffrey Dalmer to death; these were just a few preoccupations Hector and his fellow inmates while away the days with.











On the outside, things have been a whole different story. A caravan of news vans has taken up positions outside of the Ambrosia offices and have laid siege. No one was permitted to leave the building without having to first run a gauntlet of microphones. All of this adverse publicity was bound to affect the trial, but the judge steadfastly refused to move the trial location. Hector’s attorney even suggested having O.J.’s trial here on the East coast and transporting Hector West to L.A. That way everyone gets a fair trial, and the local TV stations’ ratings do not have to suffer.

The Charges
The District Attorney had charged poor Hector with first degree murder. The DA promised to prove that Hector had not only brutally killed Nala LaChat, but had waited until everyone else was out of the office. This showed premeditation. Those of us who work with Hector know that this is not the case. Hector can not even plan a bowel movement (no really, one minute he is whistling away, and the next he is bombing the classifieds), much less a murder.

The Evidence
O.J. is going to have it easy compared to Hector. A couple of gloves and some DNA genetic fingerprints, big deal. When the police searched Hector’s groovy bachelor pad they came up with enough weapons to outfit Bosnia. Knives of every length, firearms of every caliber and even a menacing looking Louisville Slugger.










Hector’s Lawyer attempted to explain away the arms cache by pointing out that a lot of the members of the local Macintosh Users Group were also involved in the National Rifle Association. After the last MUG meeting at Hector’s groovy bachelor pad a few items may have been left behind. So far the authorities have not been able to locate the rightful owners though, so this excuse may not work. It seems that most of the serial numbers have been pecked away at and are illegible. Only a few weapons have identifying marks. There is a rifle with the initials L.H.O. carved into it, and a shotgun with the initials K.C. monogrammed on the stock. Lucky for Hector, none of the confiscated firearms is being considered as the murder weapon, but still it does not paint our feathered friend in a good light.

No hard evidence from the murder scene could be directly tied to Hector. The crime scene, the offices of Ambrosia Software, was covered with Hector’s claw prints and feathers, but since this is where Hector lived and worked it is all being discounted. Although there was an obvious blood trail leading out of the office suite, down the hall and out to a bird bath, all of the blood traces belonged to the victim. No blood of Hector’s type was found and none of the victim’s blood could be found on Hector or any of his clothes (no wonder, the little fellow walks around naked as a Jay bird all the time). As for the location of the body, the defense maintained that Hector had turned in for the evening soon after the last office worker left. Hector’s cage is in a separate room from his perch. The defense states that Hector last saw Nala alive, went into the other room and stayed there until morning when the police arrived. An avid Doors fan, Hector explains that he did not hear anything out of the ordinary, but this may be due to loud music being played.

The Confession
The prosecution’s most damning single piece of evidence is an audio recording of an alleged confession (click on the below sound icon to hear the evidence).



The police believe that this is a tape of a cold blooded murderer clearing his conscience. The defense insists that it is just a recording of a parrot being a parrot.

The Trial
Although the transcript of Hector’s alleged confession is a pretty powerful piece of evidence, it was not strong enough. The defense pointed out that only one single word was uttered by the defendant; his name “Hector.” Although this may seem damning when presented by itself, the defense was able to prove that the term “Hector” represented about one tenth of the defendant’s entire vocabulary. On cross examination of the defendant, this became painstakingly obvious. Giving sworn testimony from the witness stand, the defendant offered the term “Hector” as an answer for such questions as “where were you the night of the crime,” “do you have an alibi,” and “who is the dumbest bird alive” (that last one has been stricken from court transcripts when the defense objected).

So Hector has been returned to his happy home here at the Ambrosia offices and everything is back to normal. Well, almost normal.



Somewhere on his travels Hector has picked up a sinister little chuckle that he lets out when he thinks no one is listening.