In case you missed it, Ambrosia released an important press release recently:

No Bath ’til Beta Press Release
Rochester, NY November 18, 1994 — In response to the significant interest in Ambrosia Software, Inc.’s upcoming action game Apeiron, Ambrosia’s President and resident Programmer Andrew Welch has announced that he will neither bath, shave, nor shower until the game is in the hands of beta testers.

“Given the anticipation I’ve sensed from the Macintosh community for several significant but woefully delayed games,” says Mr. Welch,” I’ve decided to make a gesture of my commitment to complete Apeiron with all possible alacrity.”

Mr. Welch points out that by forgoing all the proper hygiene taught in Health 101, he can save time and concentrate his efforts towards putting the final touches on Apeiron.

Deep in the bowels of the Ambrosia home office, a highly customized fish tank allows Mr. Welch to take care of all necessary bodily functions without ever moving from his development station. In fact, he can’t move: restraints cobbled together from SCSI cables and bondage apparel keep him firmly ensconced at his programming throne. Says “Cajun” David Richard, Ambrosia’s Technical Support Manager, “It is amazing what you can do with power tools.”

While those close to Mr. Welch may not appreciate the steps that have been taken, failsafe measures have been put in place to make sure no one will be in any danger. “We’re using Hector [Ambrosia’s African Grey Parrot mascot] sort of the way miners used canaries” says John Haley, Ambrosia’s Marketing Manager. “If he drops from his perch due to Andrew’s aroma, we pull the fire alarm and dash from the building.”

Apeiron is Ambrosia Software, Inc.’s first action game since the award-winning game Maelstrom was released two years ago. It will be released soon, assuming Ambrosia Software, Inc. can elude the state Health Board inspectors.

Ambrosia Software, Inc. is a small company dedicated to bringing you quality software, excellent support, and innovative ideas all at a reasonable price.



Yes, I did have fun writing the press release; but believe it or not, I was also quite serious. I did not shower, shave, nor bathe for close to 3 weeks while getting Apeiron ready for beta testing. For some reason, people didn’t want to be around me much...

The good news is that as I type this, Apeiron is in the hands of beta testers. While there is still work to be done, I’d much rather release a better product later than an inferior product earlier, no matter how much flak we get.

Look for Apeiron very soon, and I sincerely hope you enjoy it.

Regards,